Written and Delivered by The Rev. Philip Schaffner

"Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Sometimes a situation calls us to set aside everything we think our tradition and society tells we should do and instead act in an extreme manor. Sometimes we must cross into uncertain territory in order to truly respond to God's presence. We must seek out the way in the wilderness.

Last week, we learned that when you find what was lost, the thing to do is rejoice. This week, we learn that when the situation is far beyond normal, we must be willing to ignore what our tradition teaches in order to live a life that praises God.

On one cold and windy morning this January, I was approached by a woman on my way into work. This is not that uncommon as Catholic Charities has an office down the block from where I work and people often ask me for money or assistance. However, this time was different. In her eyes, I could see fear and she was trembling. Her question was different than the usual. She asked if I could help her get to a shelter for battered women. She was fleeing her boyfriend and needed help. I told her the location of an agency I was familiar with and gave her enough money to catch the bus.

Sadly, this was not my first encounter with domestic violence. I have had friends both men and women suffer abuse at the hands of loved ones. I have also done some volunteer work to educate men about the issue and our specific role in stopping it and claiming it as a men's issue.

Sometimes it can feel like we will always have domestic violence with us. Just as Jesus reminds the disciples that they will always be with the poor. Indeed poverty and domestic violence aren't completely separate issues. For example, according to the 2006 Wilder survey of homelessness in Minnesota more than one third of homeless women (roughly 800 on any given night in Minnesota) are homeless at least in part because of domestic violence.

That being said, domestic abuse knows no economic or racial boundaries. It occurs in wealthy homes and in well-educated families. It happens in Christian homes.

The rates of abuse are scary to admit and it can feel hopeless to solve, as some have used today's Gospel to feel hopeless about poverty. But God cares about the poor and God cares about abuse. Even though it can feel like we are in the desert, God is always at work creating something new and calling us to be fully who we were created to be.

I think unpacking our Gospel some will help to illuminate what I mean.

The context is a dinner held at the home of Jesus' friends, Martha, Mary and Lazarus. The next day, Jesus will go up to Jerusalem and by the end of the week he will be nailed to a cross overlooking the capital city and executed. This is right before the beginning of his passion.

Mary seems to be aware that Jesus might die soon and chooses to honor him. However, her choice of an expensive perfume rubs Judas the wrong way and he objects. Now Judas objection makes a lot of sense. This perfume is worth almost a year's wages for a typical laborer--say about $30,000 today. Up to this point, Jesus has told people to sell their possessions and give the money to the poor. He's taught his disciples to live with the poor. So much of his ministry has focused on care for the poor, indeed so much of the scriptures commands care for the poor, that it's easy to see why Judas would argue about this lavishness.

Scripture and social expectations indicated that Mary was out of line. Jesus, however, defends her and suggests that this is a different kind of situation. This is a special moment when things have to change. Rather than saying don't care about the poor though, Jesus response also reaffirms the need to care for the poor in normal circumstances.

Jesus response references an old scripture passage from Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy 15:11 reads, "Since there will never cease to be some in need on the earth, I therefore command you, 'Open your hand to the poor and needy neighbor in your land.'"

Jesus reference to the poor reinforces the commandment to give to the poor, but also signifies that although that commandment needs to be followed throughout our lives sometimes situations merit a different action. Sometimes we must forget the teachings of old and recognize something new.

I think this is particularly appropriate in the context of domestic violence. Although domestic violence is quite common, scripture and social convention are often used to keep victims in abusive relationships. For example, in today's epistle from Paul's letter to the Philippians we hear Paul say that wants to share in Christ's sufferings. That idea that we should strive to share in Christ's sufferings has been used to say that staying in abusive relationship is emulating Christ. Or Jesus teachings about turning the other cheek is frequently taken out of context and used to keep people in abusive relationships. Both of these are gross misuses of scripture.

Likewise, our teachings about forgiveness get inverted in the context of domestic violence. The problem is that abuse is a system of power and control. It is a cycle of behavior in which the actual abuse is only one part of a larger pattern of behavior. The challenge for Christians is that one phase of the cycle is contrition and forgiveness. The abuser, who was often abused or victimized at an earlier age, truly feels sorry for the violence and pledges to change. The don't like their behavior. The problem is that they rarely have the tools or self-awareness to stop it from happening again and so the cycle is repeated and repeated with ever increasing frequency and intensity. Sometimes several years might pass between incidents, but over time they happen more frequently.

Forgiveness only helps perpetuate abuse. As Christians and as a Church, we need to be able to say that although forgiveness is what we are commanded to practice throughout our lives, domestic violence is different--it is a special circumstance that warrants different action.

New tools and vocabulary must be learned, support networks need to be established and in many circumstances relationships need to end or take a break. Change, transformation and repentance are possible for abusers and victims, but the process must happen in a way that is safe for the victim.

Abusive relationships can feel like being lost in the wilderness for abusers, victims and witnesses. It can feel like there is no way out, that the good inside us will dry up in the desert.

The good news is that God casts out demons, that God heals the sick and God restores the broken hearted. God is always creating something new in the wilderness, because God desires us to be heirs of the Kingdom. We were NOT created for abusive relationships. We were NOT created to control and manipulate our partners. God created us to praise God and to do so by loving each other. God created us to be powerful together as mutual partners.

We must wake up to the reality of domestic violence and be willing to talk about it. Men in particular need to talk about it with each other and to claim it as a men's issue. I hope that you will stay for our presentation after the service today to learn more about what can be done.

If you are in an abusive relationship or are worried about someone else, please talk with me or Paul after the service or any time. As a church, we need to be willing to confront one another and offer help and support.

As we enter holy week and ponder the horror of the cross and passion, remember that Jesus died so that we might have life. His resurrection opens a way in the wilderness for us to escape the power of sin that enslaves us in unholy and unhealthy relationships. Jesus calls us and invites us to live lives of love and mutual service. I pray that together we might encourage and help each other strive to follow Jesus in that invitation.